jinglebros | (no subject)

(no subject)

[ Santa leads June to his dressing room. His is almost the opposite of hers, crowded and looking super lived in. There's pictures that she drew as a child taped all around the mirror and kpop posters all over the walls. Shades of blue feature frequently and a giant teddy bear their parents gave him is in a corner. He points at the chair when they get there. ]

Sit, I'll stand.

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[She might try to argue, but honestly she knows him too well for that, and she did only just promise that she'd rest, so she sits with a sigh.]

Now will you tell me what it is?

You've been feeling like shit, and I'm worried I'm contributing to it.

[ He leans against the wall and sighs. ]

[This..... This is not what she'd been expecting, and she didn't even know what she had been expecting. Something. Not this.]

Huh? What are you talking about?

You're feeling like shit, getting down on yourself. Saying you're useless, all this other crap.

I'm not-

...

[She'd been all ready to protest that he had it wrong, and in a way he did, but that wasn't what he would listen to right now, so she might as well jump to what he would.]

I don't want to be dead weight. That won't gain me any points here, and if I'm going to win, I have to do well enough to make sure that I can.

[A sigh]

I said that this place is like the Nonary Game before, didn't I? This is another way it is. "Everyone who enters must contribute."

But you don't have to do it all through votes. There's plenty of other ways to contribute.

[ He exhales long and rubs his forehead with two fingers, as if he's got a migraine that just won't quit. ]

Look, I'm going to calm down and you should too.

Contribute by doing what, exactly? Being moral support? How is that supposed to keep anyone alive, Aoi? You or me?

[Or anyone else she cares about, which is starting to feel like too long a list, given where they are.]

Do something like Zelda is doing, I don't know. [ He makes a frustrated noise. ] You're good at fucking with peoples' minds. You can convince people to vote however the hell you want if you try hard enough. That's different than moral support.

Zelda is already doing what Zelda is doing. We don't need anyone else doing it, she has everything organized already. What else would I even find to do? Color code the lists? Maybe there will be another need soon, and maybe I can do that, but for now she's filling that, so even if I tried to fill it too it wouldn't work, because she's got it taken care of.

[She takes a deep breath for a moment and lets it out, slightly annoyed.]

What do you think I have been doing? I've already been working to try to make friends, and find people who want to protect me. I'm trying not to leave it to chance. But why is that the only thing I can do? And even my best can really only go so far in a place like this. Nobody else wants to die either. Why is it wrong to try to make sure I have power that I can depend on too, that I can use to save someone? Why are you the only one who gets to have that?

[She's a little upset, but more frustrated than anything. Somewhere behind everything is what she's not saying - what if you die because I wasn't working like everyone else is? What if Junpei does, or Kyrie, or Clover, or any of the other people here that I want to protect? What if I do?]

I'm not the only one that gets to have that! [ He reels a bit at her saying that. He's heard it from other people, mostly through whispers in the background, but he'd never thought he'd hear it from her. ] I'm just trying to figure this out so you don't feel like crap anymore. Sorry!

[She realizes she's said something wrong, but it takes a moment to figure out what it might have been.]

Aoi, no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I only meant... I only....

[She takes a moment, and hangs her head to hide her expression before she answers, and it's only a bare dry-mouthed whisper, trying her hardest not to sound miserable.]

Why are you always the one who protects me? When do I get to protect you for a change? I've already made you do everything for so many years, when do I get to start helping?

...

[ He looks at her for a long moment in silence before closing his eyes and sighing. ]

Now. That's when.

[She laughs a little, and it's a little pained and a little desperate.]

You've been the one telling me you don't want me to try as hard, you and Junpei.

I never meant that I don't want you to try as hard, I'm happy that you keep getting so many votes. I only want to be able to try too, don't you see? You've been carrying me for years.

Then I'll let you. We'll try together, okay? [ He holds his hand out to her. ] We'll figure out a way we can carry each other.

[She takes it and stands, holding his hand and coming close as she does to press close against his chest and wrap one arm around his back to hug him, blinking back tears that she refuses to let come.]

I'm sorry. That's all I meant.

[ He puts his arms around her as well, hugging her tightly.
It feels good to properly hug his sister, it's something he's done once in maybe a year.</small.] I'm sorry too.

I'm not losing you, and I don't want to lose anyone else I care about here. That means I can't afford to coast, no matter what anyone else is doing. It means I have to work as hard as I can doing everything I can do, because we'll all need any advantages I can get by the end of this, I think.

We need to make plans, Akane. I haven't been doing that. If anyone's been coasting on, it's me, just riding along based on my own energy getting me votes. I haven't planned shit.

I'm useless for that without you.

Getting votes is important too, isn't that what we were just arguing about?

[She laughs a little wetly, just for a moment.]

I know, but there's going to come a time where that's not the only important thing.

[ He hugs her a little tighter. ]

Not the only one, no, but it's always going to be important. It doesn't matter what else you do if you can't get a vote.

We'll see if my lucky streak continues, then.

It's not luck, you're not giving yourself enough credit.

I feel like I've been fumbling without you.

[A crooked smile]

What do you mean without me? I'm right here, after all. Remember how I said I'd always be there?

[she is going to haunt you forever she made a promise]

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