newlydead r2 - day 10 - ronald mcdonald

[jinglebros]

[ Santa is still on the stage from his date with the Burger King. At some point he manages to slip away, claiming he has to use the bathroom is there even a bathroom on that stage or does he just have to piss in a corner, god, but he tracks down Ronald instead. it's not fucking hard. ]

Hey.

[ He greets him with a nod. ]

I wanna make a deal with you.

Comments

[kentucky_mcgiygas]

[Ronald doesn't do much while he's not onscreen. In fact, he's been sitting around the entire time. But he perks up when approached.]

Hi there! How can I help you?

[jinglebros]

[ Santa looks around to make sure there's no cameras focused on them, because he's paranoid, keeping a straight face. ]

This is a private conversation, right? Because I don't want this really fun plan to get fucked up by people knowing what's coming.

[kentucky_mcgiygas]

Yes, of course. I wouldn't share the recipe for your secret sauce.

[jinglebros]

Okay, good.

[ Santa makes a 'heh' noise. ]

You like violence, right? And the more violent the better the show.

June and I want to do something for you in exchange for something new. But we'll get to the exchange later. I should tell you what we'll give you first.

You return me, she'll stab me and make it look like there's a murderer running around. I won't die, of course. It'll be a non fatal wound. But it'll take me out of the count for one next minigame, which will change the face of the votes. Might even make people try to rearrange the votes to save me. Of course, they've got no idea this is a plan against them. We're distracting them from what's going to happen next, and promoting an atmosphere of fear.

Next, June is going to poison the soda machines. She'll leave rotting meat inside one of them, so that a random amount of participants gets severely ill from food poisoning. Again, nobody dies, but they suffer and the votes will be impacted as a result. You get a show because a lot of people suffer and the game really changes for a long time because we're escalating the temperament very quickly.

[kentucky_mcgiygas]

You have my attention. What are you hoping to get in exchange for all this?

[jinglebros]

Ever heard of the get ouf of jail free cards from monopoly? We want something like that. Let's call it an anti-hotel pass. If you get chosen for the hotel, you can say no and shift it to someone else. One use only. We want one of those for each of us.

It'd be anonymous just like the hotel passes, of course. So we'd get tipped off before the general announcement if we got hoteled and could use it, I guess.

[kentucky_mcgiygas]

[Laughs hysterically for a little too long.]

I'm lovin' it! I have a few caveats to add, though:

1. I don't want you to enact your plan right away. I'll let you know when
2. The rest of the contestants will be informed of the existence of the anti-hotel pass, though of course not who received it.
3. If the time comes that a hotel pass is played on you, the anti-hotel pass goes into effect automatically. You get no say in it.

By the way, if that hotel pass was the only thing that was going to protect you, you'll die when you pass it along. Unless, that is, you'd rather have it simply convert to a regular vote instead of a pass, with no ability to give it to someone else. I'll let you choose which of those two you prefer, but you can't go back on it once you've chosen.

Is all that acceptable?

[jinglebros]

[ Santa stands there as he laughs hysterically, feeling uncomfortable but doing a great job at keeping his poker face on. Mostly. He raises a finger at the caveats. ]

What exactly are the rest of the contestants going to be told? How is this going to be defined to them? Because depending on how that's defined, they could guess easily that we had it after it's played.

If it's known that we can only pass on ourselves then we're the only one who could be suspected, right? But if people think the pass can be used on anyone and be charitable, then it's a little easier to get away with this.

That's my only concern here.

[kentucky_mcgiygas]

We can leave it at, "There is a mechanic in play that can block a hotel pass." Or redirect, as you may prefer. I can live without mentioning that it only applies to the two of you.

[jinglebros]

Great. Then we have a deal?

[kentucky_mcgiygas]

[ Leans in a little too close. ]

Deal!

But just confirm for me: Are you certain you want to redirect it, which will not save you if you have no votes, or would you prefer it not to redirect at all, but protect your life should that be the case?

[jinglebros]

[ oh god the clown is way too close but Santa holds his ground. ]

I'm trying to keep June and I alive for the Final Five. Protecting our lives is better.

[kentucky_mcgiygas]

Understood!

[leans back]

We're all good, then. Enjoy your date!

[jinglebros]

Hah hah hah.

[ Santa strides off, feeling like he just did the worst thing ever. ]